Do You Need A Confidence Coach?

A few months ago, I’d had enough.

I had to deliver a talk to the board members at work, and even though I’m a confident speaker (I mean, I do stand up comedy FFS), there was something about this talk that made me flip. I felt like I was on the verge of tears the whole time, and I most certainly wasn’t giving my message – that I should be one of the highest members of the company in years to come – very well.

On top of that, I’d become a doormat to everyone I know. I don’t like fighting for attention, so if there’s a bigger ego in the room I let them do as they like, meaning I’ve been passive in a lot of relationships with colleagues, housemates, even my family.

It was time I came into my own. But I needed some help.

I googled “Confidence Coach Cambridge” and found a lady who lives very near to me – booked in an intro lesson with her.

Little did I know, confidence coaches are very much like therapists, in that you should shop around and find the one who fits you the best. I guess that makes sense. I didn’t really like how the first lady talked me through content she’d written, I was looking for much more of a two-way dialogue.

Luckily, I found an advert in the local vegetarian shop (because of course) for a lady called Sara who was newly training and wanted people to coach. She was a perfect fit.

She’s a high flying business woman, commuting to London, and has a very similar life structure to me in that she puts her career above having a family and finding a husband. I can totally see myself being where she is now, when I’m her age.

I guess most coaches will use their own varied techniques, but with Sara we worked on what I wanted to get out of situations, and focused on positive sayings I could say to myself when I feel like I’m not feeling confident enough to demand to be heard.

After the first session with her, I stood up for myself in a dispute with my housemate.

After the third, I started caring less what others thought of me and cared more about what I thought about myself.

By the last session, I was a totally different person.

I’m still not perfect at everything. I still doubt myself. I still have to take control of my brain when it’s being a Debbie downer and tell myself that I need to believe in order to achieve. But having someone to meet with in order to discuss strategies to be a more confident person who allows herself to demand from those around her has been such a positive experience for me.

So, should YOU meet with a confidence coach? If you feel that those around you are not taking you seriously, if you feel that your path isn’t going to lead you to where you want to be, if you doubt yourself when you want to achieve more, then yes. You do.

Confidence coaches can be expensive (the first lady I saw certainly was) but different people have different priorities. There will be different people at different price-points, so search until you find the right level of experience and price.

Don’t be afraid to shop around – it’s so important to find the right fit, and don’t rely just on Google. Look at local noticeboards, look at the local ads. Find your fit.

And if you’re in Cambridge, by the way, Sara is looking to take on more people. Email me for more details if you’re interested!

Have you ever used a confidence coach? Let me know in the comments!

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