I’ve taken a bit of a back seat in my online dating life. There is a guy I’ve been on a couple of dates with but I don’t really go out of my way to fill my week with dates like I used to. At the same time, though, I do still get a lot of messages.
Some of them I do reply to. Most of them I don’t. Sometimes I tell them exactly why I’m not interested – I feel it’s helping them. Some people are just very bad at online dating.
So, if you’ve sent a message and the recipient hasn’t replied, perhaps it’s because of one of the following:
You have terrible photos.
I have already written before about the kinds of things you should think about with photos. But just to recap – your main photo should be you alone, preferably doing something fun. Then the others can be with friends of the same sex, but preferably ones of you still doing something fun.
If you have just one photo, then no. If you have just one photo of your face, then no. If you have a photo with you with a girl, it could be your ex, so no.
I know how hard it is to get photos of yourself doing fun things. But tell your friends to help – I’m sure they’d be happy to!
You’ve not written anything in your bio.
If you can’t be arsed to write about yourself then I can’t be arsed to get to know you. Give me a blurb.
You’ve made zero effort with your comment.
“Hey babe”, “Wow, you’re gorgeous” etc will NOT get replies. Read my profile, you can see many things about me to ask about.
Now, I can also be guilty of this. It’s mainly because guys don’t tend to write enough on their profiles so I often say “Hey, how’s your day going?” It shows interest without having to hook onto anything from the profile. This isn’t very good online dating and I am a bad person.
You’ve been rude AF in your message.
I only just realised I forgot to wipe out his name under the messages. Whoops.
If you’re rude, then it’s not going to happen. The guy above, his photo was very nice. Shirt and chunky jumper, a cute smile. The kind of guy you’d take home to mum. But his first like was “want to fuck?” to which I replied “no”.
That was way back last year, and he does reply to me again from time to time, each time I turn him down. The above convo was from last Thursday. He’s not taking the hint.
I am just not interested.
Sometimes, I get a perfect message from a guy doing all the right things. But I am just not interested. I really wish I could control who I’m attracted to, because I would have found myself a nice guy by now. But I can’t.
Most of the time when I’m not interested I will just reply and say thank you, but no thank you. That can open a whole load of Bye Felipe, though.
Note that if you don’t get a reply, DON’T bug them again! Just leave it! They’re not interested.
If anyone has any advice on how to get replies, leave it in the comments!